4:00 a.m. - 2009-04-22
the quiet things that no one ever knows...
To begin with, I think not being around my man as much is driving me crazy. I think he is the most amazing thing right now and I just want to have time with him. Weekends only just sucks but he is perfect and we are trying here. He took me out for lunch today and that was really nice. Then we checked out the pet shop because I'm wanting to get myself a little dog. I think I'll buy one from a co-worker of mine though. So we ate and I begged for diamonds and I really wanted to just fuck the shit out of him because this once a week sex thing sucks bad for me. I'm a nympho! lol I can't help it. So we are going to the racetrack this Saturday and that should be a lovely evening with him. I can't wait. I hate the weekdays now.

However I must add comment to the fact that I went "browsing" into my past and I decided whatever is making "him" feel dead inside has to be one of the most deserving amazing things ever. I would kinda feel bad if his expected child didnt make it or something like that, but fuck that bastard and I hope his life is falling completely apart to shreds. The emotional damage that he put me through will be reprimanded by the bitterly cold hand of karma.

So, I don't know what else. I need to find a layout for this page so it doesn't look like a generic plastic $1 piece of shit. Hmmmm... Well I get paid tomorrow and get to pay everyone in the world since that's just my luck. I'm ready for the next 6 months to fly by so I can get on with it.
byebye.

1:58 a.m. - 2009-04-20
eh :)
Well things in the relaptionship are going pretty good. We dont get to see each other as much but I'm gonna make it through I think. I've been experiencing some female problems and I am going to be getting things figured out, hopefully find out why i haven't gotten pregnant. So the end of the month I need to be getting to the doctor and seeing whats going on with me. Not that i necessarily need to have a kid right now, but anybody else would have had a couple if they were me. I'm pretty sure i know whats going on so we will see. I think we'll go racing this weekend since it will be super nice out. Goodness I am hungry so I will update later..

2:08 a.m. - 2009-04-17
allow me to bitch.
I'm trying here. Apparently it's true that men are fucking stupid no matter their age. I have learned this. Like... If you really wanted to keep a job, why would you fucking do everything you're not supposed to do there? Duhhhhhhhh, well this is my bitchass diary thing. So let the bitching begin...
I am getting worried that I might be in the same old situation I always have been in. Like, have i found another total loser that cant even keep a job? The at-work behavior was similar, i must say. If i can't find anything better than my ex... goodness that would fucking blow.
I need a miracle in money form, then I'll be okay. I'm getting cut down to 4 days a week. Gotta love that. Even a couple 3 day weeks. Since I got the lovely DUI i have to pay out way too much money and rent, and everything else. My man just lost his fucking job stupidly. I dont even give a fuck anymore, it was ignorant.
I also need this information for attending college online needs to get here so I have something to do with myself. I need a bunch of dental work done too, my wisdom teeth are coming in now and the rest of them are falling apart. I swear you pay for years when it comes to your teeth over past cocaine use. Well I hope I get to spend some good time with my man. He was sicky today so I hope he feels better tomorrow. Well perhaps I will write tomorrow. I'm sure it enchanted everyone's souls.

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